the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize