so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
