Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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