I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I am naked and annoyed.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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