Define "chronic" masturbator.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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