No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
