you guys were way drunker than both of me
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
