what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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