Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
