You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
