brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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