She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
When did angry sex become our thing?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize