he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
