So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
