i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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