Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(336): View more from North Carolina

maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later

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(620): View more from Kansas

Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.

Fav 10 2016 1558
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(303): View more from Colorado

The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage

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(713): View more from Texas

Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.

Fav 8 700 1439
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.

Fav 3 706 921
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(218): View more from Minnesota

I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.

Fav 2 901 543
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(918): View more from Oklahoma

I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder

Fav 0 637 583
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(903): View more from Texas

I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.

Fav 1 18 29
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(213): View more from California

I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick

Fav 0 80 12
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