I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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