we have officially lost it.
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
