Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
