Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
he quoted the bible to break up with me
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize