Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
