can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
