I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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