Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
