No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
