I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
