i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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