But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
