I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
