my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
she pinky promised me she was 18
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize
