If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
