i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
