problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
