Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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