After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
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