According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
