I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize