another moral hangover. fuck.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Randomize