I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
