hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize