Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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