I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
