You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
