I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
pop tarts are not kleenex
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
