Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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