you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I supernannyed him into submission
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
