Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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