If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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