yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
