my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
