I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
