Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Welp...herpes.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Randomize
