okay pat passed out under dana's car
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize