It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
