I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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