Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
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