i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Life without a bra equals bliss.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
