I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
