I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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