Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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