I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
